I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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