Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
