I hate your face
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's never too late to be topless.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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