Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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