tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
