I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did I show you my penis last night?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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