Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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