32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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