Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
