I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
