there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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