so explain again why im purple
no
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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