I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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