hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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