I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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