He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
