I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My life is pants optional.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
