You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize