Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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