last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
