I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
