I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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