I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize