Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
