if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
