At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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