The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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