Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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