It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
