I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am one with the molecules
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
