Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize