Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

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(404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020

Replies (7) Good night (4712) Bad night (744)
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(+61): View more from Australia

yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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(+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v

Replies (27) Good night (900) Bad night (3871)
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(513): View more from Ohio

She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.

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(513): She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools. http://tfl.nu/fny5

Replies (21) Good night (1055) Bad night (3837)
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(714): View more from California

Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.

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(714): Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor. http://tfl.nu/w05t

Replies (10) Good night (756) Bad night (5019)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore

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(617): i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore http://tfl.nu/4xlx

Replies (21) Good night (1523) Bad night (4642)
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(330): View more from Ohio

He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.

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(330): He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/vaq0

Replies (16) Good night (4280) Bad night (1314)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"

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(215): You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance" http://tfl.nu/4bfe

Replies (1) Good night (2188) Bad night (855)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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(262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe

Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (556)
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(317): View more from Indiana

It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.

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(317): It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion. http://tfl.nu/z4as

Replies (5) Good night (1112) Bad night (692)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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(225): I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40. http://tfl.nu/yalq

Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (447)
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(773): View more from Illinois

my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

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(773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u

Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (618)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

(406): View more from Montana

YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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(570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb

Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (345)
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(512): View more from Texas

I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

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(512): I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual. http://tfl.nu/irow

Replies (1) Good night (844) Bad night (365)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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(613): I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon http://tfl.nu/93lu

Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (292)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look

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(402): Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look http://tfl.nu/8mmn

Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (126)

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