I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.