Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.