Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

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(813): View more from Florida

I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(404): View more from Georgia

he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off

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(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.

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