help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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