Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
