I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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