i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
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I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
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Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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