just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
