Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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