At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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