So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
