You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
