i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i will never coherently bang her
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize