OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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