her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
