It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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