Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
