This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
