Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
