When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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