we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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