Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
