hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
