it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
