6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize