I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
