He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
