I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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