Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
