so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
