ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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