how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize