you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
