When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
