I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
