It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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