it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Come share oat with me in your robe
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
