is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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