We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
