Can i not drive my cunt home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
