just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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